Wearing Chastity Cages: Why Men Are Fascinated

When the term "chastity" is mentioned, many people might think of medieval culture, where men were said to force their wives or daughters to wear metal cages to protect their "virtue." However, chastity is a reality in today's world, manifesting in entirely new forms. From metal devices with locks and keys to smart devices controlled through applications, there are many chastity products available on specialized websites, predominantly designed for men. Thus, while chastity initially might have been a means of constraining and controlling female sexual behavior, it has now evolved into an expression of male sexual fantasies and lifestyles.
 

In early 2021, a hacking incident brought chastity fetish into the headlines. Men wearing smart chastity devices received threats from hackers who actually extorted them. This incident raised curiosity and questions about why someone would willingly lock their genitals in a device.
 
For some men, gender norms can impose significant pressure, requiring them to conform to societal expectations. Chastity fetish becomes a safe escape, allowing them to relinquish control and explore more submissive sexual roles. Gigi Engle, a certified sex educator and author of "All the F*cking Mistakes," notes, "Part of it is wanting to give up control, to escape your role. The fetish is so popular but remains taboo partly because we fear this dynamic; we still fear female control and dominance."
 
Alan, a 37-year-old man, discovered his interest in chastity. He realized that playing a more submissive role in sexual activities and surrendering control could be liberating. However, confessing this secret to his wife took weeks of courage. Eventually, they delved into discussions about the topic, and the exploration of chastity strengthened their relationship. Alan states, "Our relationship is better and more solid than ever before. Chastity made me appreciate more what women go through and deal with in life."
 
Women play crucial roles in chastity fetish dynamics. Lisa, a professional dominatrix and "keyholder," believes that this fetish challenges patriarchal views surrounding sex, granting women control. She says, "We live in a society inclined to suppress or shame female-dominated relationships. We all know the phrase 'who wears the pants,' right?"
 
Advocates of chastity fetish explain that the constraints and abstinence it entails make sexual life more diverse and exciting. Brian wears a chastity device almost every day, finding comfort in its presence as a reminder of ownership. He believes that being unable to climax and the inability to use his penis in sexual activities make his sex life more thrilling. He says, "It's an incredibly sensual experience that plunges me into an open-minded period. There's a masochistic pleasure in not being able to get off."
 
Some men argue that the constraints of chastity force them to redefine "sex," emphasizing a holistic experience beyond penis-vagina penetration. Christian mentions, "My nipples and buttocks have become more sensitive because I can't stimulate my penis, so other areas feel the desire for satisfaction. I can better understand the female desire for 'pre-sex touches.'"
 
For some couples, chastity fetish becomes a means to enhance their sexual relationship. Alice, a scientist, reveals that her husband's interest in chastity has reduced the pressure on their sexual relationship, allowing her to relax and enjoy intimacy more. She says, "The surprising side effect of chastity is that our sexual activity is more frequent than ever. We use a lot of toys, and we both enjoy them. He's always obedient, but now he's locked in a device, and I don't feel pressure to please him."
 
Expressing desires for chastity can be challenging for men, especially if these desires go against societal norms. Sex educator Kenneth Play emphasizes, "I think you have to calculate. You can calculate the desire and the potential shame level. I think people need to consider the worst-case scenario and think about how they might feel if their partner reacts poorly."
 
If the worst-case scenario becomes a reality (partner hesitates about the idea), what should be done? Play suggests, "I think if we have a partner who fully accepts us, we can consider ourselves very lucky. But it's important to remember that forcing compatibility can also be harmful." He adds that if a partner isn't interested in exploring fetishes, discussions about opening the relationship to others or finding a compromise should be considered.
 
Tony and his wife combine male chastity with an open relationship, which he believes benefits both of them and revitalizes their sex life. His wife goes on dates with other men and then comes home to share the details with Tony. He says, "I live through her. Why? Because sex is wonderful. There's no pressure to perform poorly, and there's no frustration. She's satisfied, and I'm satisfied."
 
Lisa is enthusiastic about explaining that chastity fetishes are not just about sex; they also fulfill some of our most basic needs and desires: intimacy, vulnerability, and trust. She says, "All fetishes, including this one, are about entering a space where you don't feel ashamed. Respect to those who do it."