Seeking a way to fulfill deep-seated fantasies is not uncommon. Sometimes, there is a desire that feels taboo, making it challenging to express to a partner, and BDSM might be a safe space for such exploration.
Facing the fear of rejection, the unknown, or the fear of actually enjoying such experiences can make sharing these inner thoughts seem impossible. For some, this hesitation might lead to a stagnant sex life. However, for others, it becomes a liberating turning point, allowing them to explore the type of sexual life they've long desired, even if it involves elements of bondage, domination, and submission. Research indicates that these practices can have positive effects on both health and interpersonal relationships.
BDSM practices encompass traditional taboo realms, involving bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M), often related to sexual activities both inside and outside the bedroom. While these fantasies might be more comfortable to discuss privately, research shows that various aspects of BDSM are, in fact, desired by many.
In a study published in the "Journal of Sexual Medicine," over 1,500 men and women were surveyed regarding their interest in 55 sexual fantasies. Several categories related to BDSM emerged, including being dominated in a sexual context (65% of women and 53% of men), dominating someone sexually (47% of women and 60% of men), and experiencing sexual pleasure through bondage (52% of women and 46% of men). This not only confirms the popularity of BDSM practices but also lets individuals know they are not alone. Now, let's delve into five potential benefits you may derive from such experiences.
Facilitates Deep Communication, Strengthens Intimacy
BDSM relationships are often built on transparent, open, and positive communication, a key factor for success. Through the use of "safe words" and clear delineation of "games" (sometimes called "scenes") from daily life, couples need to discuss their sexual behaviors frequently, enhancing intimacy. While sexual activities inherently increase intimacy, the introduction of adventurous elements like bondage or blindfolding in BDSM further deepens this emotional connection. Ultimately, this is built on mutual trust, and BDSM requires a significant amount of trust, leading to increased intimacy when experiences go smoothly.
Promotes Loyalty in Relationships
Healthy BDSM relationships require trust to be built over time, reducing the likelihood of individual infidelity. Dr. Jeffrey Sumber, a psychotherapist, notes that many individuals who take these relationships seriously are not interested in compromising safety and trust, considering them crucial to success.
Enhances Psychological Well-being
According to a study referenced by the "Medical Daily," individuals engaged in BDSM scored higher on certain psychological health indicators compared to those involved in conventional sexual behaviors. BDSM-friendly participants are more open, less neurotic, have a better understanding and sensitivity towards rejection, resulting in safer relationships and overall greater happiness. Additionally, the skin-to-skin contact in BDSM relationships is said to contribute to "physiological and bodily healing."
Alleviates Psychological Stress
Paradoxically, displaying vulnerability in BDSM scenarios is believed to make participants feel less stressed. The ability to let go of judgment and control not only helps overcome anxiety and insecurity often experienced in sexual encounters but, according to the mentioned research, levels of the stress hormone cortisol are lower in both bottoms and tops (submissives and dominants), especially during bondage.
Reduces Anxiety
In addition to all other benefits, the "Medical Daily" points out that "experiencing or giving pain for sexual pleasure can actually reduce anxiety, even for the most anxious souls in the bedroom." Another study from the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests that S&M alters brain blood flow, sometimes leading to altered states of consciousness similar to those experienced by runners or yoga practitioners. The calmness felt by participants, likely attributed to changes in brain blood flow, is thought to reduce anxiety.
In conclusion, BDSM relationships may be a positive choice for individuals seeking novel experiences, deepening trust, and improving mental well-being in intimate relationships.